It's true. This one trick pony is putting some serious consideration into taking a rare step back in a drawing-boardwardly direction.
"But Auntie Reba!" you may be crying aloud, "A fabulous washed up cougary old bar fly such as yourself must have a kalaedescopic myriad of lip varnishes cascading, very literally, out of the wazoo." Wrong you are, internet. Washed up draggy old cougar though I may be, there is nothing I pooh-pooh so vehemently as aesthetic variation. Never tried it. Gives me anxiety. Notable exceptions include the time I stopped pinning up the sides of my hair in 2011, and that moment circa late winter 2012 when I abruptly traded in my
M.A.C. Nymphette lip gloss for a
Nars matte Dragon Girl pencil, and never looked back. Also, I recently got into furs. Why wouldn't I. That hardly counts as a change; more a manifestation of what the good lord has clearly intended all along.
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| Check out these miraculous ladies from Advanced Style getting it done. |
What I'm talking about now is working up and veritable arsenal of jewel tone laquers, each more resplendent than the next, lining them up according to hue in the Chateau Rue Ladies Lounge, and rotating them day to day based on self-perceived level of insanity. Here's a bit of personal disclosure, internet: What Auntie Reba abhors in life, more than any other topic of conversation, is noting aloud with enthused
earnestness hyperbolic aspects of one's appearance. It's true. Few things are more tiresome or disdainful than a infantile squealing of "Oooooh! Fun lipstick!" or "Did you get your hair cut?" or, God help us, anything of the "I could
never pull that off!/Have you heard of The Suicide Girls?!/Are you going to a prom?/No REEEEEEALY how long does it take you to do your hair?/I love the pin-up look!" variety. I devote a neighborhood of 2.35 minutes each day to hair, internet, but each
blusterer on the street who insists on
confabulating on what's already done coiffure-wise is upping that count significantly and bringing us both moments close to death. Ptkktheh! Hence the major benefits of an unflappable personal style that never deviates in any way. Aesthetic variety is overrated. Now I'm not saying aesthetics aren't important, people. Of course they are. But let's gussy it up and move on.
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| Right??! |
Point being, perhaps if I launch right into a wildly over the top Lip Varnish of the Day situation the vividness itself with be the constant, and Auntie Reba will never have to feign intrigue in conversations surrounding cosmetics that were pancaked on a good 12 hours prior whilst perched between dueling radios amplifying National Public Radio and Katy Perry's Most Inspirational Hits, respectively, over the course of roughly 180 seconds, most of which were spent trying to consume as much coffee as possible without spilling. Are you feeling me, internet? I'd hoped so.
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| Here's some half assed selfies taken in wildly different lighting. You're welcome. #nailedit |
